Excerpts from a bridal shop....

Young man: So, these tuxes aren’t too tight, right?
Me (as I am taking measurements: No. That is why I am taking measurements, so that the tuxedo will fit you as well as possible.
Young man: I just don’t want it to fit me like a condom!
Me: Well...I do not think there should be any worry of that.

Also, most overused bridal term of the week: "vintage-y." As in, "Ooh, this is vintage-y, right?" Vintage is a pretty broad term, ladies. Explore what specific qualities you appreciate in certain "vintage" trends, and bring those descriptions instead.

LADIES, YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODIES!

Don't be this frown-y chick.

Regardless of style, size, and budget, there is one look that brides yearn to achieve on their wedding day - they want to look skinny. Here’s the problem: many brides aren’t.

Crazy as it may seem, many women somehow still believe that there is some magical bridal gown out there that will give them a different body type. I watch bride after bride throw dissatisfied looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously smoothing the fabric over whatever perceived flaw she sees. In fact, I lose many sales to women who just can’t settle the image of how they see their future bride self, and their current shape.

Now, it is true that some gown silhouettes and fabrics are better on different shapes (we’ll discuss this more later). However, there is no amazing dress that will turn a plus size girl into a size 2, or shrink a large butt to a little one.

Ladies, here is the thing. Whatever age or size you are, you have to accept yourself - and your body - on your wedding day. At some point, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and recognize that SOMEBODY LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO COMMIT THEMSELVES TO YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  So get over it.

If not, you are just going to make everybody else around you uncomfortable as you continue your ridiculous self-hatred. Take a step back, and decide to be a bride who loves herself as much as your groom clearly does.

"My hips have ruined my life!"

Hello!

As you may have gathered, I am a bridal consultant. I work in a small-ish bridal boutique in an unnamed city in the Midwest. Sometimes, my greatest challenge is holding my tongue...this blog will catalogue all the bits of advice that I wish I could give many of my brides.